if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
