Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
