OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
