"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
