Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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