I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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