it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
