Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
