Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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