i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just google imaged poop.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
