So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
