Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
