oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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