oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So much rum. So many feels.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?