what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?