I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.