im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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