What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
