it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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