You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
