just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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