My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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