man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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