it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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