I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize