just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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