Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
