Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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