Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
