i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
