We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
