dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
