I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
