weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
