dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
