I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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