But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
