I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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