so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Damn victory sex feels great
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
