dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're a waste of cheezeits
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
