my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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