she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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