so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
