Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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