Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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