will power is for people who don't want to get laid
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
