Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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