Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize