The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
