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And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
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Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
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Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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