so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
