she peed on how many people?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
40s are totally the cure
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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