Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize