Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
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