Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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