Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
