Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
