I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
