eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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