I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.