I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy