Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?