I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.